I went to see He's just not that into you yesterday.
What a dud. What a bore. The only audience this might appeal to is teenage girls.
Based on a nonfiction book of the same name (if the film kept faithful to the book, then the authors are morons and it's not a surprise publishing's in crisis), the narrative thread (or lack of it) traces a number of twenty-something women in Baltimore trying to work out how guys minds work when it comes to dating.
No cliche is left unturned including the aloof and uncaring heterosexual, the boorish, farting heterosexual male, the effete homosexual with a sibilant affliction and the innocent young woman (think annoying Charlotte in Sex and the City) who has no clue how to interpret the blind dates and calls a bartender she just happens to befriend. Oh, and he falls in love with her in the end. YAWN, YAWN, YAWN.
It's self-indulgent piffle.
Ms. Aniston, whom I like, settles into the well honed role of slightly quirky, slightly befuddled, slightly scatty, lonely twenty something she's cut out for herself. She might like to rethink these roles now she's many nautical miles from that age.
Halfway through Larry turned to me and asked at the exact moment I was thinking the very same thought--"Is this ever going to end?"
At over two hours, it's value for money if you like the decidedly mediocre.
Tuesday
The crash
It all happened so quietly, so unexpectedly.
It began as flickering, something one dismisses as a quirk.
The next quirk was that the photographs I use as my screen saver disappeared--utterly.
When I next booted up, they'd returned.
And then on Monday came the belligerence. The disk simply didn't want to behave. It made the cursor disappear into corners of the screen, made Word behave like a spoilt child, made the Mac operate at a snail's pace.
And yet, I continued to think the computer is behaving quirky. I'm just going to keep switching it off until it behaves.
And then on Thursday, it became slow and slower and then didn't work at all. And when I switched it off, it didn't return and all I saw was a blinking question mark.
The silence was devastating, the consequences unbelievable.
Off I took it to the Mac dealer. Technicians really are a different breed.
"Oh, looks like it might be a failing disk. If it is, it'll be hard to get you another."
"Why?
"Old technology."
It was made in 2003"
"Old technology."
"How much?"
"We have to diagnose first."
"Okay?"
Next morning---ring, ring...ring, ring--ring,ring.
"Hello"
"Jason from the Mac shop"
"Hey."
"It's a disk failure. It'll be two hundred bucks. Do you have your files backed up?"
"No. I thought my flashcard was backing up and just found out yesterday when I checked it at a friend's that it wasn't"
"Not so good."
"Can you recover""
"Probably not. It won't mount. We'll have to end it to a outside date recovery people."
"How much?"
"$600."
"WHAT?"
"That's only if they don't have to use a clean room."
"Did you say 'clean room'?"
"It's where they wear white suits and work in sanitized room. You've seen them on CSI, no?"
"How much?"
"Up to $2000."
SHIT...F***. SHIT." Silence. "Listen, put in a new hard drive. I've gotta think about the recovery thing."
"Take your time."
"F***"
It began as flickering, something one dismisses as a quirk.
The next quirk was that the photographs I use as my screen saver disappeared--utterly.
When I next booted up, they'd returned.
And then on Monday came the belligerence. The disk simply didn't want to behave. It made the cursor disappear into corners of the screen, made Word behave like a spoilt child, made the Mac operate at a snail's pace.
And yet, I continued to think the computer is behaving quirky. I'm just going to keep switching it off until it behaves.
And then on Thursday, it became slow and slower and then didn't work at all. And when I switched it off, it didn't return and all I saw was a blinking question mark.
The silence was devastating, the consequences unbelievable.
Off I took it to the Mac dealer. Technicians really are a different breed.
"Oh, looks like it might be a failing disk. If it is, it'll be hard to get you another."
"Why?
"Old technology."
It was made in 2003"
"Old technology."
"How much?"
"We have to diagnose first."
"Okay?"
Next morning---ring, ring...ring, ring--ring,ring.
"Hello"
"Jason from the Mac shop"
"Hey."
"It's a disk failure. It'll be two hundred bucks. Do you have your files backed up?"
"No. I thought my flashcard was backing up and just found out yesterday when I checked it at a friend's that it wasn't"
"Not so good."
"Can you recover""
"Probably not. It won't mount. We'll have to end it to a outside date recovery people."
"How much?"
"$600."
"WHAT?"
"That's only if they don't have to use a clean room."
"Did you say 'clean room'?"
"It's where they wear white suits and work in sanitized room. You've seen them on CSI, no?"
"How much?"
"Up to $2000."
SHIT...F***. SHIT." Silence. "Listen, put in a new hard drive. I've gotta think about the recovery thing."
"Take your time."
"F***"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)